What is leadership?

I’ve served under good leaders and bad leaders. Reflecting on my career thus far, I can say with certainty that I have managed to learn something regardless of the leadership capabilities I served under. My life experiences have helped shape my own definition of leadership. While serving under leadership I perceived as poor, I learned what not to do. Good leadership has taught me positive ways to work, interact and be effective.

You are like me in at least one way…your life experience has influenced how you define good leadership. While defining leadership can be difficult, it’s not difficult to recognize when you see it. Finding a few definitive words that describe everything leadership includes is challenging.

I am not afraid to admit that I have not always given good leadership. I’ve seen my mistakes and would like to think I have learned from them. Seeing and understanding the errors of my way, it has become a passion of mine to learn all I can about becoming a good leader. I have taught on the matter, read exhaustively on the matter and plan to continue to be a student of the matter for the rest of my life. Through all I have read and learned, I have managed to come up with a few single words that seem to do the term leadership justice. Here is my take on a few words I consider critical if you want to be a good leader.

The first is Influence. There’s a saying I like, but I can’t remember who to attribute it to. It says; if you think you are leading but no one is following you, you’re just going for a walk. That says a lot. If you can’t influence those around you, even if you have the positional title of a leader you may lack the moral authority that comes with influence. Moral authority is based more on your character and behavior than an organizational chart. I’ve lead teams, groups and individuals for years without a title. How? In order to earn the right to influence someone start with building trust, investing time and being genuinely concerned about them as a person. Be authentic and as personable as you are comfortable. This takes time and energy, but I can assure you it will be time well spent. Influence is often either out of your reach or control. When you lack opportunity to build relational trust and spend time with those you need to influence, it’s time to look for creative ways to make the most whatever opportunities you do get.

Second is servant hood. Leading may seem polar opposite to serving, but it is not. Sitting in your office, too bothered to be involved in the day to day working or life of those you lead is a sure-fire way to create an atmosphere that lacks cohesiveness, trust and vision. This type of atmosphere is never the intention of a leader. If you find yourself too busy with meetings or other priorities to spend time with your people, it’s only natural for them to feel ignored at best or unappreciated at worst. You cannot be slave to your calendar or even your customers to the extent that they will not allow you time to interact with those you lead. Getting your hands dirty, rolling up your sleeves…these are ways we describe someone that is willing to do what is necessary to help others, regardless of title or position. Do what you can to serve people well and they will serve you well in return.

Last is humility. I have been in many situations where the person with the highest position in the room also feels the need to be the smartest person in the room. It’s almost like no one else can have any good ideas – or at least ideas better than theirs. When you constantly pass down decisions without seeking input from those that are involved or impacted, you let everyone know that you are smarter than they are. While I understand that this may have to be the case at times, when it happens over and over and over again, the pattern speaks on your behalf and likely communicates a message you really don’t intend to convey. I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, but I am rarely the smartest guy in the room and that is OK with me!

Remember that leadership isn’t really about you, it’s always about those you influence and serve. Leadership is a privilege, a responsibility and should be taken seriously. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence play a huge role in your ability to be effective and humble at the same time. I already have plans to write on both topics in the near future.

I’m listening…

Are you really listening? It’s a skill, one that takes discipline, focus and consistency. I can tell you this much – if you consistently avoid listening to your people and do not allow them a voice in matters that affect them, eventually you will be surrounded by people with nothing to say. Good people will leave and you will be surrounded by mediocre talent, wondering what happened. You don’t want to be in a leadership role in that position and you don’t want people under your leadership that feel helpless, unappreciated and voiceless. You have to surround yourself and listen to the right people. You have to build systems and processes to solicit input from people at all levels. Good leaders are attracted to where their voice is heard! If you want good leaders, you have to make that a part of your organization culture.

So how can we listen well? How can we allow those in our sphere of influence to feel they are valued and heard?

Listen for strengths: Everyone has an idea of what they are good at and where they need improvement. It takes a good leader to recognize where they are weak and where they could use help. It takes an even better leader to allow someone to actually help them. Putting people in position to be successful usually means allowing them to pursue areas where they are naturally strong. Check your ego at the door and allow people to operate in their strengths, even if it happens to be a weakness of yours.

Listen for pitfalls: Every organization has systemic issues, to ignore them is woefully ignorant. As a leader, you are often far enough away from the day-to-day activities that you can’t see those issues clearly. Those under your influence likely have a better feel for what is actually happening in the areas that really matter. In addition to listening for pitfalls, you have to be willing to do what you can to help the team avoid them, or make changes that will help those that are suffering from the issues.

Listen for innovation: Not only will those around you likely be closer and more aware of issues, they will likely have some very innovative solutions to resolve them. Nothing speaks arrogance more than a leader who thinks all good ideas have to originate from them. A good leader understand they do not always have to be the smartest person in the room. A good leader is open to not only hearing good ideas from others, but acting on them and ensuring the right people get the credit in the process!

Listening will provide insight and knowledge as to the potential of your people. Once you are aware of the information, it is your job as a leader to use that knowledge wisely. Now that I’ve shared some of the people you need to listen to and why, my next entry will provide some practical ways to enhance your actual listening skills.

My bad…

My bad. In the time frame I grew up, putting those two words together would not have made much sense. Now-a-days, it’s become a modern version of “I’m sorry”. It seems that happens a lot in our culture and with young adult children at home I get to hear most of them as they become popular. The thing I like about this phrase is the personal pronoun actually invokes some level of accountability by the person using it. Accountability is closely related to apologies, but while admitting failure or mistakes has never been popular it seems even more offensive these days.

We have to ask the question why? Why has accountability lost traction? Why do we point fingers of blame at others while somehow justifying our actions and bad attitudes? I believe it is out of fear that the blame game is played. In other words, my place or position with the organization is unstable enough that I fear for my job or career if I make a mistake. No one is perfect, myself included. I’ve done some incredible things professionally in the last two decades, but I have made some horrific mistakes along my career path as well. I am a proponent of a work place culture that is both open to and accepting of mistakes. Failure is the price of progress, without it there is no innovation and creativity. Dodging responsibility, on the other hand, is never acceptable. The impact of a mistake is far more dangerous when someone refuses to own it.

How do we create an environment where it is safe to fail but not ok to be accountable?

Communicate expectations clearly
One of my go to phrases is that all unspoken expectations are unrealistic. Since none of us can read minds, the only way to bring clarity to expectations is to communicate them effectively. In order to have clarity to your job, roles and responsibilities expectations must be clear. Unclear or vague expectations lead to frustration around performance and responsibility. Expectations should include performance-related items (measurable and time-boxed objectives), personal growth items (professional/technical skills), leadership competencies (skills to assist with leading/working more effectively with others) and cultural DNA (your organizations core values).

Open, honest, careful communication
I have learned to take criticism in a constructive manner in spite of the way it’s delivered. That’s not an easy thing to do and it takes time as well as discipline to learn how to do that. This type of communication can become tense when people start taking it personally. Learning to handle constructive criticism is a part of the training and mentoring process that is all too often overlooked. It’s also important to note that participants must also be willing to learn when it comes to these sorts of things as well. If you encounter people that are unwilling to learn, they either need to be moved to an environment that suits them, or be transitioned out of the organization. The last part of the equation involves “careful” communication. It’s another skill that needs diligence and self-awareness to be learned properly. Delivering difficult news is never an easy thing, but it is always necessary to be able to do it effectively. The recipient is likely to be more receptive if there is care given to the words, tone and body language used while communicating.

Establish boundaries and consequences
Consequences have such a negative connotation, but we all deal with them every day. Everyone knows that is you drive 75 mph in a 45 mph zone, eventually you will likely have to face some consequences. The idea of boundaries is paramount in the process of developing healthy relationships and parenting, so they are no less important at work. The consequences do not apply to someone that makes a mistake, but rather to those 
trying to deflect responsibility, cast blame on others or those acting in some other defensive way.

Having an environment that is accepting of failure but requires accountability is crucial to every organization. Educating employees toward the emotional intelligence and self-awareness required to handle criticism effectively is just as crucial. Try to find ways that you can assist your organization with changes in the organizational environment or educational offerings to assist the growth of everyone.

Proirities

It seems the older I get...the busier I get. I thought it was supposed to be opposite of that! I'm a little frustrated sometimes at the lack of time to do everything I want. Maybe if I only slept for 1 hour each night, I could get more done. We all know that if I slept for only 1 hour, whatever work I did accomplish would not be my best.

I guess I have resolved to try and prioritize things. That said, your (and my) family needs to be a priority. You won't always have your kids, so cherish every moment with them now. Make time to spend time with them...make it a priority. I date my daughters - not often enough - but I want them to know what its like to be with a man that loves and respect them...not one that will take advantage or use them. How would they know the difference unless we teach them? I try to do "guy" stuff with my boys - again, not often enough - so they know what a real man is like, how they behave, how they treat women, etc.

Kids always model the behavior they see - good or bad! Your children are one investment you make that can draw eternal dividends.

Organization in ministry

Systems in ministry are a huge problem. Structure and organization loom large too because most of the people involved in ministry have never really been a part of a larger business organization. I've now been involved in ministry for over 10 years, but in business for over 20 years. I want to challenge people in ministry to not be afraid to ask for help, insight, maybe even pay for consulting services from people who know what they are doing! It's interesting to me how many people try to go at it alone and just stumble and fumble through things rather than look for help and expertise. Remember what the Bible says about pride, the fall, and all that!

The hype

Yes, all the hype around Tropical Storm FAY failed to deliver even one drop of rain in my area. I love how influential the media is!

Time to go have a good time with the family - we're going to play cards or something. Anyone ever hear of the game "hand and foot"? What a blast!

T.S. Fay

Gotta love hurricane season in Florida. Nothing like going back to the first day of school and then have the second day of school canceled!!!!! My work just notified all of us to work from home tomorrow - no complaint there!

I know everyone is trying to be "careful" but I think this whole hurricane thing gets blown way out of proportion by the media. I'm certainly not planning to buy anything special or stockpile items. There needs to be something done about places price gouging and stuff anyway. There is nothing I can do to stop the storm from coming this way, so why get so frantic about it anyway? If it comes this way, then so be it, I'll just do everything I can to protect my family.

Pray for Florida and I'll update you tomorrow...

Da Truth...

It's been a while since I had a rant...

Why can't people just tell the truth? Why is it so hard to admit you were wrong or had a bad day and did something stupid? Instead of just being honest, we employ the latest and greatest "spin-doctor" technology and avoid responsibility at all costs. How does that benefit anyone...except yourself? We're so selfish that we would, by virtue of our actions, drag the name of Jesus (via our testimony) through the mud while trying to maintain our own personal image!

The idea that Christians are "better than" everyone else is why we get caught up in maintaining an image anyway. Hopefully you are not a condemning or judgmental "christian" that looks down on others for their mistakes, but tries to hide our own. Hopefully you haven't forgotten that you're just as prone to mistakes as the next person...christian or not. If we are really interested in being Christ-like, we'll tell the truth and take responsibility for our actions.

Be more concerned about what God thinks than what people think about who you are...

Some media for a change...

Here's some pics from the fine arts experience. The boys weren't around much, so I didn't many pics of them. Here's Megan and Makayla...

Here's a picture of the whole group we were with...

The police in Charlotte had a unique was of getting around...

It's already started

The summer is over before it's actually over! The kids don't start school until next week, but already the madness has begun. We picked up school supplies today - what a mad-house!

Makayla has started practices with the swim team already! She has 7 meets, 6 of which are on WED's. After swimming is basketball...after that is track. Since she made the regional finals last year, we are expecting her to reach the state finals this year - as a sophomore.

Justin got his tonsils out today - we tried to slide that in before school so he would have enough time to recover. He's doing pretty good, all things considered. He's looking forward to playing sports at school this year, with his eye already on basketball, soccer and track.

Megan is quiting her job to concentrate on school...that was kind of my idea, since she has 3 AP classes and needs to bump her GPA for college entrance. It's a 3.75 weighted already, but the competition is fierce to get into college these days.

Jacob is excited about his last year at junior high. His asthma has been under control for some time now - so he is doing well. He's told me he plans on getting all A's at least once this year...he missed with only 1 B three of the 4 quarters last year!

Diane and I are doing ok...perpetually tired, but ok!

Fine Arts results....

The kids did great...I'm still recovering!

Here are some of the results:
Megan Strickland - superior with honors in her short sermon, her human video team advanced to round 2 and ended up in the top 25, her sign language solo was awesome!

Makayla Strickland - vocal ensemble placed 4th overall!

Jacob and Justin Strickland - human video group missed superior with invitation by 0.17 points!

Megan Russo - drum solo placed 3rd overall!

Amy VanHeerden - won the performance art category!

Michelle Rooks - placed 3rd overall in the 2-D art category


We had a great time and the kids all picked up a lot of good experience! We're going to really put a dent in the festivities next year in Orlando!

I'm going to try to get back on a regular blogging schedule this week!

FAF

We're headed out to the National Fine Arts Festival this weekend. All four of the kids qualified for at least one event, Megan actually qualified for 3 events. I'm not sure if I will get to blog at all next week ... so we will see!

Needed prayer...

My brother has been diagnosed with a very serious disease. It's called Retinitis Pigmentosa. If you would like to know more, you can check out this website:
http://www.blindness.org/content.asp?id=45

I'm asking if anyone that reads this blog, if you would consider adding David Strickland to your prayer list. Feel free to spread the word of this need for prayer to others as well.

This is a very difficult disease to handle, physically and mentally. When you consider all his future has to offer and the potential that he may not be able to physically see it take place...it can be quite disheartening. I know that my family and others in our marriage class and at church have committed to praying for his healing.

If you'd like to know more about him or his family personally, his wife, Monique, keeps a blog as well: http://moniquestrickland.wordpress.com/

Life Cycle

I live my life on a cycle...not a bicycle...a life cycle. I call it the innovation cycle because I am and always will be a continual learner. I think I started out life pretty dumb and have been watching and learning ever since...now that I think about it, I guess everyone started out that way! I think some get to the point where they stop enjoying learning and so they do just that. I've never gotten to that place, and even though I've not been in formal schooling for about 15 years, I feel like I have never left "school".

I often label myself an observer, because that's where the innovation cycle starts; observation. The cycle looks like this:

It's a continuing cycle...once you prototype, you start observing again. It works for any aspect of life. You have to be willing to continue learning and never decide to stop. Start looking at life like a school yard, and begin observing how you can be more effective in everything you do!

VBS...

My wife and I have been running VBS all this week at church. We have had record numbers of kids, well over 400 last night. For the last 5 years, we've been overseeing the offering competitions and recreation. For the first time ever, I think, the offering is nearly neck-and-neck. We do a fear factor type thing for the looser - boys against girls. I usually end up eating every night, but this year has been different:

MON - Boys lost, I ate meal worms
TUE - Boys lost, I ate chocolate covered ants
WED - Girls lost, Diane drank snake blood
THU - Girls lost, Diane ate crickets

Tonight is the finale and the children's pastor and his wife will get slimed based on which gender wins. Kids are fun...

Love God with your energy...

There is another saying I can't recall who to attribute to:

You need to pray like everything depends on God, then work like everything depends on you!

We definitely use energy to do things for God. Serve others, evangelism, ministry, etc. That's biblical and appropriate. In your haste to "do stuff", don't forget to use your energy to develop your relationship with God and get to know Him. As with any relationship, that requires effort and energy.

Along with hard work and effort comes the need for rest. One of the most ignored of the 10 commandments is #4: the Sabbath commandment (Exodus 20:8-11). If we were to weigh the 10 commandments by the number of words used to define them, this one (93 words) would be the most important. Rest was so important that God did it, don't you think you should too?

Make sure there are allotments in your schedule for rest...but make sure you don't get too comfortable resting!

Love God with your intelligence...

People don't get stupid when they get saved, but too many choose to turn off their common sense when it comes to spiritual things.

We all need to use your brain when developing a relationship with God! After all, God is the one that gave you that brain to begin with! If you’re not a morning person…don’t try to spend time with God in the morning, cause you're just going to fall asleep. If you fall asleep easily at night, don't get in bed and then try to spend time with God, cause you know what is going to happen!

Be smart about developing the most important relationship there is...

Love God with your prayer...

Do you know what prayer is? Have you every wondered if you even understand it? I think in America, we have really mangled what prayer is supposed to be by making it about what we want it to be. Here's a quick question:

If you throw out a boat hook from a boat and catch hold of the shore, then start pulling; are you pulling the shore toward you, or are you pulling yourself to the shore?

The answer is simple, but when it comes to prayer, a lot of people think they are pulling the shore to them. They believe prayer is a way to get God involved in their life. More to the point, they think prayer is the way to get what they want from God. It's a means to convince God of what he should do on your behalf. Help me on this test (even though I didn't study)...hook me up with this girl (even though she's hot, but doesn't love God)...help me not to get audited (even though I didn't fill out my tax forms honestly).

Prayer is surrender...surrender to the will of God and cooperation with it. Prayer is not pulling God into my will, but rather aligning of my will to the will of God. When you look at loving God with that kind of prayer, you can see how beneficial and effective it would be.

Love God with your passion...

What is passion? What does that mean? There's an old idiom my pastor uses that says:

The proof of your passion is in your pursuit

Being truly passionate about something means you will pursue it. It takes a place of importance. It gets elevated as a priority above other things. People are passionate about a lot of things. Some are passionate about sports, some about family and some about their job. Some are passionate about a hobby, some about working out and others about reading. Not one of those things is wrong, in and of itself. The things we must be willing to do is compare the level of passion for any of those things to our passion for God.

Be willing to check passion level of your heart about relationship with God. Make sure you work at keeping the most important thing, the most important thing.

It all starts here...

There has to be a single verse of scripture that servers as a foundation for a relationship with God. I think I found it...

Mark 12:29-30 – “Jesus said, "The first in importance is, 'Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.'” (the message)

Jesus was making it clear that this was the most important thing you could do. These 4 things are paramount to helping us understand how to love God. This translation seems to brings the ancient text to life. The KJV tells us we should love God with all our "heart, soul, mind and strength", but what does that really mean?

For the next few days, I want to explore what these 4 ways of loving God really mean...