Which authority type are you?

I was reminded this week of some leadership behavior that is destructive. It wasn’t even in my own life, but with a family member. I was extremely frustrated to hear the details around a conversation involving a high-level management person and a person on the front lines of getting work done. I had coached this person in how to approach a situation and much to my dismay, the high-level management person decided to minimize the intelligence and worth of someone I care deeply for.

It’s the age-old dilemma of positional versus moral authority. Those that lead well don’t allow their position to go to their head. People who lead based on their position on the organizational chart don’t understand one of the core components of leadership…influence. They lead with the mentality of being superior because of their position. They lead with intimidation. They ignore input, demand control and disparage people below them on that organizational chart. It pains me to even use the word lead when describing their behavior.

Moral authority is based more on your character and behavior than an organizational chart. It doesn’t matter what your title is. I’ve lead teams, groups and individuals on numerous occasions without a title. How? Developing my moral authority through influence. To earn the right to influence someone you must build trust. To build trust, you invest time with people and show you are dependable and competent. It also helps to show you care by showing genuine, authentic concern about them as people.

You can be both considerate and effective as a leader. Effectiveness doesn’t have to suffer just because you are a nice person. Sure, there are boundaries to set and difficult conversations to have. If you have developed moral authority along the way, those conversations are not only easier but often more constructive as well.

Teamwork

Teamwork makes the dream work. It’s a fun phrase we’ve all heard before. What does it mean? I believe there are layers of meaning under those 5 simply words that I want to spend a few posts writing about.

George Barna said, 

“A team always outperforms an individual. The more you are able to bring together leaders whose skills and training build upon what the others bring, the greater the ultimate outcome of their cooperative effort.”

There is value in building a solid team. As I mentioned, I am going to take my next few blog entries to write about the value of a common vision, community, roles, tools, communication, cooperation, commitment (man, that’s a lot of C’s) and motives. There is a lot that goes into developing a strong, cohesive and fully engaged team.

First is vision. While speaking to my son the other day, he called vision a “churchy” term. That surprised me, and while I understand the context and circumstances in his own life that brought him to that conclusion, vision is far from a “churchy” term. Vision is intended to be a unifier, regardless of the setting in which it is used. Think about it in terms of sports teams – the recent championships by the Golden State Warriors or the Pittsburg Penguins. A bunch of guys, focused – laser focused – on one goal, one vision. Neither was an individual win, it took teamwork. Without teamwork, we place a lid on the capacity of the team, the organization, the department or whatever context applies to you. It’s vision that directs the teams’ energy, effort and focus toward a single goal that matters most.

Vision also represents a better tomorrow that you can see in your mind’s eye today. One of my favorite leaders, Andy Stanley said,

“Too many times the routines of life begin to feel like shoveling dirt. But take those same routines, those same responsibilities, and view them through the lens of vision and everything looks different. Vision brings your world into focus. Vision brings order to chaos. A clear vision enables you to see everything differently.”

A key to building a strong team is to ensure the vision is clear and shared. A clear vision brings understanding. A shared vision brings buy-in. Both are critical. Vision is the compelling why that motivates what we do. In practical terms, we need to be able to apply value to what we do. What I do for a living as an IT professional may seem as far away from value as you can get. Delivering technology, can help organizations be more profitable by increasing revenue or decreasing cost. These are valuable business components, but they don’t instill what most would consider a motivation or a sense of value. However, if you think about my job this way – while all the above is true, the unique value that can be applied is that it creates opportunity for more people to be gainfully employed and pursue the American dream. I work for a staffing company that helps people find jobs. Looking at my work and considering how it impacts thousands of lives in a positive way is indeed motivating. When I can attach that kind of value to what is being done and cast that vision to others, it can become a motivating factor that allows us to unify our workforce.

It doesn’t matter if you are the CEO, work in accounting or are the maintenance supervisor – casting vision effectively will connect your role in the organization with the common purpose for the organization to exist. We all play a part, we all get to participate in a common vision that should be both compelling and worthy.

Start small. Start with your own team – create an atmosphere that is positive and encouraging. Then, sit back and watch others notice your positive nature and adopt your vision.

Memories

It’s been way too long since I’ve written…again. A combination of job and personal items have created a perfect storm as of late that has kept me sidetracked for way too long. I haven’t even tweeted lately, but I did manage to tweet today: A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. It’s true, friction has a way of shaping, molding, defining us. That applies to both our personal and professional lives. I usually write towards the career and professional side of life, but I know that this post will blend well into the personal side of my life and hopefully be a positive influence in your life as well.

I lost my dad 14 days ago. 10 days ago, I performed his memorial service. I have learned a lot from my dad, so I want to share some of what I shared at the memorial service. My only request is that you keep your mind open and take away something that will propel you forward that you can share with and pass along to others.

My dad was a gentle man; he became even more gentle as he got older. Even when he couldn’t remember my name, I would hug him whenever I left him and he would whisper sweet things to me. As with most parent/child relationships, we had our ups and downs. Maybe you have heard about a lot of the rules in my house as I was growing up. As an immature young man, I only saw those rules as "in my way", intending to “ruin my fun" or "control my life". The young man that I was couldn't see past his own desires for fun and freedom to understand the love my Dad was showing me by setting boundaries and doing his best to guide me in life.

I did not truly understand all of this until I had kids of my own and I began to institute rules, draw boundaries and impose guidelines in their lives as well. I had ups and downs with my own kids too, but that is just as natural as it is for parents to pass these types of things along to their own kids.

Some of the things my dad passed along were physiological and others were more traditional in nature:

• My two brothers and I want to personally thank him for the hair challenges he passed down to each one of us
• I can personally attest that he passed down his competitive nature to me – and just like he would never let us, as kids, beat him in anything, I did the same to my kids (I have lots of stories on this topic)
• I heard my entire life how important education and learning are from my dad and I have made it a passion, not only to read and learn constantly, but to teach as well

Some of the more important things my dad taught me:

• Dad taught me it was OK to cry
• Most fathers in the time I grew up were telling their sons not to cry
• Dad knew it was an important part of emotional health to experience and feel things, not just stuff them deep into your own self
• Dad instilled a good work ethic and an attitude of savings
• I never saw him take a single car to be worked on, call a plumber or electrician – he did it all himself
• He worked hard – extremely hard – his entire life
• When times were tough financially, he worked harder
• Dad taught me the importance of a relationship with God
• He treated others with the kind of biblical love and respect they deserved
• He served tirelessly at the church in many capacities
• He knew that part of loving God meant not just giving money, but also giving his time and talent to serve others and help those in need

In a nut shell, my dad always gave his love freely but I did not always receive or respect it well. He extended his love in my direction anyway:

• I remember dad reading with us every morning
• I remember him circling with us in prayer before we left every morning
• I remember him holding me…tight…telling me how much he loved me, and he wouldn’t let me go until I said it back to him

Take a minute today to show someone you care. It can be at work, at home, or wherever your important relationships are. Decide to love and respect the others around you. Take a minute to tell a memory or story that has impacted you in a positive way to others. Write a note to someone that may need to hear some encouraging words. Hug someone, tell them you love them and don’t let them go until they say it back!

Lastly – don’t mistake kind, gentle leadership as weakness. Leave your legacy by impacting others in a positive way daily.

Measuring Leadership Effectiveness

If I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times; everyone is a leader. You may not think you are, but there is someone looking at you for leadership. It may be it may be a spouse, a child, a friend, or it may be a team at work. It may even be a multi-million/billion-dollar project under your leadership. There are many forms and facets of leadership, all of which are important.

While leading is fairly inclusive to all, leading well is another story.  A constant topic of concern to me is emotional intelligence and the accountability one must take for themselves. You are 100% accountable for the decisions you make, the actions you take (or at times the actions you don’t take) and the words you speak. You are 100% accountable for you, so don't try to blame others for them. Along with taking responsibility for oneself, you must also commit to understand and learning about others. In today’s culture, dealing with multiple generations of perspective and ideology, we have to learn to understand people like never before. That type of understanding isn't a gift everyone has, but it is something that can be learned by anyone willing to set their pride to the side, and learn that perspective, learning, hearing and many other aspects of life are different for everyone (read my previous posts on my blog [http://stevestrickland.blogspot.com/] titled “Perspective”, “Trust and “Developing an understanding attitude”).

Your ability to learn and adapt will help determine your effectiveness as a leader. It doesn't refer to your level of book smarts, but rather your ability to grow, learn and implement new ways to lead people effectively. I'd like to discuss a couple of areas leadership that will help you get the most out of your leadership potential.

Self–awareness

Self-awareness is a curiosity that begins with the courage to hear what works and does not work about your leadership style. It can be about anything leadership, including; the work culture, personality dynamics, etc. Being aware is the first level of knowledge that can equip you to take powerful corrective action. Self-awareness allows you to leverage your talent and intervene when and where necessary to remove any personality traits that are in the way of your true leadership potential.

The ability to develop culture and climate awareness opens the door for you to see what is really going on. With that additional level of knowledge, you can intervene in areas that negatively effecting engagement and innovation.

Self-Awareness is the doorway to emotional intelligence. It gives you access to real self-improvement. It's absolutely critical for personal and professional development. However, awareness for awareness sake is not enough.

As a leader, you must be courageous enough to take responsibility for your negative behaviors and the impact of those behaviors on others. You have to be willing to recognize and admit when you are wrong, then work to shift your behavior in a way that has a more positive impact. Be humble.

Bias for Action

This is a phrase that several of my best leaders have used to describe a consistent urgency toward doing (Both Mike Ettore and Martin Casado were leaders of mine that used this phrase and both had a military background). Many leaders prefer to stay on the strategic side of things, casting vision and focusing on the mission or strategic project of the day. I've got a lot of that in me too - but I have learned a valuable leadership lesson in this area. People love being led well, but if you always lead from the top you can lose credibility.  Sometimes you have to lead from the side and be willing to not just lead, but assist as well. Assisting can come in several forms, whether it's clearing roadblocks and impediments with other teams, providing resources or materials required, or actually jumping in to assist with work that needs to be done.

I can tell you that my most recent position change (just a few months ago) this has become a critical component of being able to lead well. I'm spending less than half of my time managing and leading in a strategic way. The majority of my time is spent writing code, building automation components, answering calls/tickets or whatever else needs to be done to assist the team.

Be willing to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty in there with your team. It will go a long way toward gaining their respect and you teach them you are not willing to ask something of them you would be unwilling to do yourself. If you want to build your influence and develop loyalty between you and those you lead – be willing to help as much as you want to lead.

Adaptive Change

As mentioned above, most leaders are typically mission and task driven, focusing on the strategic side of things. This can cause blind spots when it comes to what is happening with your team.

Being able to respond to changes in an appropriate, controlled manner — regardless of the current stress – is part of a good leader. Flat line reaction is not always the answer but screaming and yelling is not appropriate for any situation. Anger and frustration might be needed at times, while curiosity and collaboration may be needed at other times.

Developing this type of response and reaction agility means that you have learned to think before reacting. When I teach this to my kids, there are a few phrases I have repeated to them enough times that they typically help me finish the sentence now whenever I use it:

·         You don’t have to say everything that comes into your head

·         Don’t allow your feelings to dictate your actions, you be in control of them

As an effective leader, you must constantly ask yourself, “What is needed now?” This has everything to do with situational awareness and appropriate reaction. When the work is stressful or a project is faltering, a leader needs to have a handle on how they respond, and can coach others in the same manner. That type of leader is one that positively contributes to a healthy company climate and culture.

Being adaptive takes discipline, awareness and commitment. It’s a core component of leadership intelligence. We have to learn to be:

1.       a mission-driven leader

2.       a leader who inspires people to give their best in service of a compelling vision

In summary, we must recognize that most people are not coming to work simply for a paycheck; we need a keen awareness that many people come to work to fulfill their individual purpose in a way that supports the organizational purpose. If you want to be an effective leader, you must understand how to inspire and how to leverage your communications with others to do the same. They utilize their people intelligence to tie work responsibilities and tasks not only to the overall intention for and strategy of the business, but to a real purpose they can get behind as well.

Unspoken Questions your team is likely asking

Work culture is on everyone’s radar these days. It's often the difference between a good team and a great one. Smart leaders pay attention to their team culture because they know it can create an atmosphere where people love to come to work and be a part of something that truly makes a difference. As teams change or evolve or as you onboard new team members, remember to consider these unspoken questions they are likely asking.

Can I trust you?

We all want to work for organizations and leaders that we trust; that is, those that live up to their promises. I've questioned candidates considering leaving their current work and I often hear about the old "bait and switch". Essentially they were told one thing about the organization, like expectations for the role or potential for growth as a leader, only to find out none of it, or very little of it was true. When a leader makes promises to their team but doesn't deliver, it creates opportunity that will likely equate to a lack of trust. It's understandable to paint your organization in the best possible light, however, when an unrealistic promise is made or an exaggerated view is painted without being honest about the real challenges the organization faces, team members will eventually see the reality and lose faith in leadership. Be relentlessly honest with your team about the challenges and opportunities. Honesty and fairness will build trust among your team which will create a healthy culture of trust and integrity.

Will you make my daily life better?

Increasingly, employees are looking for more than a job that simply provides a paycheck, they want to have their daily lives enriched and make an impact on others or on society. They want to be a part of a workplace environment that delivers the opportunity for fun and relationship as well as the opportunity for personal and professional growth. One of our core values here is FUN...so we need to look for ways to make the work we do more enjoyable. Whether we "game-ify" team/individual goals, celebrate special occasions or achievements or hold monthly meetings where we gather to spend time learning something new about work and have a party while doing it. This will help enrich the lives our our teams. Increasing the fun quotient will allow you to create a team that enjoys coming to work every day.

How will my work make a difference?

We are fortunate to work for a company that can really make a difference in the lives of people. Connecting people with job opportunities can be a very satisfying accomplishment. Unfortunately, we rarely take the time as leaders to equate value to the work we are performing. It's a powerful motivator. The key to motivation is not just to get someone to do something, but to get them to appreciate and agree with the "why" of the work we do.

Start asking these questions of yourself so you can answer them before you they become a problem. Create the work culture that is inviting enough to keep your best people wanting to show up every day.

How to eat an elephant...

You've all heard the old saying "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." That reminds me of new years and resolutions. When we look at what we want to do, sometimes we set overly ambitious goals and sometimes we set a lot of goals. Either way, we set ourselves up to fail. Most of us lack the ability to be successful at everything on our radar, all at the same time. There is a sense of optimism and renewed hope that comes with most new year resolutions. It causes the gym memberships to increase and the healthy aisles at the local market to be more crowded. Unfortunately, and somewhat inevitably for most, those resolutions become nothing more than good intentions within the first 6 weeks of the new year. 

As leaders, we can learn something from typical new year resolution failures. It involves the concepts of focus, simplicity and effective vision casting. We sometimes over complicate things or try to tackle too many things at once. It often leads to not completing work with quality in mind, missing deadlines or at worst, failure. For whatever reason, I have often found my role at work to be one that consists of multiple projects, multiple responsibilities and work that is of a critical nature. I can confess that recently, I found myself in the mental trap I just described. My new role involves so much work on a daily basis that it can overwhelm a seasoned employee quickly. As work came from all angles and in all magnitudes I found myself starring at what seemed to be a never ending list of things that need attention. In practical terms, in order to lighten the load and allow my team to be properly cross-trained while coming up for air, these things need to be done. Luckily for me, it only lasted a few weeks for me and I was able to recognize the volume of work and the sense of it being overwhelming was just me looking at the size of the elephant rather than which part I wanted to start with. 

I had some time off between Christmas and New Year's and instead of resolutions this year, my wife challenged me to find a word or a theme that would define my year. My word this year is refine – but I don't have time in this post to go into that yet, maybe another post in the near future! I am choosing to apply the word to every aspect of my life - including work. So I thought about how the team could keep it simple and how we could refine the work that was starring us in the face. The first week back in 2017 at our team meeting, I introduced a concept I am calling "one thing". Each team member, including myself, finds one thing that will provide some sort of relief to our team, our department or our customers in some way. Each person lets me know when their one thing is and owns it until it is successfully implemented. It's not over though, when the first "one thing" is done, each person is to pick their next "one thing" and the concept continues. Nearly every member of the team seems excited to identify and deliver their first "one thing", even myself. In fact, I had a chance to write some code for the first time in a while that will in effect save my team at least 8 hours per week. My code goes into production later this evening J. 

When you focus on the size of the work in front of you, sometimes it can be overwhelming. Keep it simple, grab the low hanging fruit that will provide as much value as possible and start moving forward. Some things will have to wait. Lead your people with clear, concise and simple strategies that will keep everyone moving in the right direction - toward the larger and more strategic goals.

It's personal

The great philosopher Charlie Brown once said “Humanity I love. It’s the people I can’t stand.” How do you feel about people? When frustrated, I myself have been known to mutter the phrase “work would be awesome if you didn’t have to deal with people.” Of course, that’s neither realistic nor feasible. It comes out when I am frustrated because I know that dealing with people is incredibly difficult, but it is just as incredibly important.

Leadership and relationship often are seen as two things that cannot co-exist. I can see both sides of the argument for and against the concept. I land on the side that believes the two can not only co-exist, but must exist in order to get the most from your team. I’ve written before about trust – something that is only built over time with consistent behavior. I’ve also written about influence – which is a byproduct of trust, but requires a level of personal investment to really be effective. The best leaders understand that a healthy work environment and a productive team are the result of good leaders that have spent time investing in their people. I can personally attest to meeting regularly with each of my employees. I try my best to never cancel that one-on-one time with any of them. There are times I have to reschedule, but I try to never miss one. It is in those meetings that I get to know each and every one of my people and hear about as much of their personal life as they want to disclose as well as hear their desires for involvement in certain systems or to be part of a particular project or where they want to be in their career in the near future. Those are important conversations that let them know that I care about them as people. As a leader you cannot be so task focused that you are only getting in touch with someone when you need something! We should not use our position to build our own career, but rather use our position to build our people. Think about it, would you rather work for someone that only cares about what you do or someone that cares about who you are?

I’m not saying that we sacrifice tasks or productivity so we can just be nice to each other. There are people I have worked with for over a decade that I have had to have difficult work related conversations with. If they know you care, those conversations (although never easy) aren’t so difficult because the other party ultimately knows that it’s not personal, it’s about accountability and responsibility. We all deserve corrective criticism when it is necessary, so we all have to be willing to give it and take it! There is a difference in telling someone they are doing something wrong and inspiring them to do right.

I’ve already told you that everyone is a leader. It may be at work, it may be at home, it may be somewhere else, but everyone has some level of leadership in their life. There is a quote form one of my favorite leadership authors (Andy Stanley) that speaks to the responsibility we have as leaders. It goes like this, “Leadership is a stewardship, it’s temporary and you are accountable.” As a leader, you are entrusted to the responsibility that comes with leading others. You will not always have the same level of leadership or responsibility – it may increase or decrease over time. In terms of accountability, follow through is one of the most important aspects of leadership. If you sit and listen to someone express their desires but do nothing to help them get to where they want to go, you lose credibility as a leader. We have to follow through and see our leadership opportunity for what it is – something we have been temporarily entrusted with and are responsible to ensure we do the right thing. The right thing to do and the hard thing to do are usually the same thing.

Giving of thanks

I know it’s cliche, but on the day before our thanksgiving holiday, I thought I would reiterate some gratefulness.

I have many things to be grateful and thankful for, the most important one’s being my faith and my family. I have the privilege of living in a country that allows me the freedom to both express and live out my faith in God and my relationship with his Son. That is not something I take for granted, since there are many places in this world where this is not the case. As for my family, they are the reason I get up every morning. My wife is the quintessential partner – my biggest fan as well as my most informed critic. She holds me in high esteem and holds me accountable to be the person she knows I can be. I can’t imagine my life without her and I look forward, with great anticipation, to our future fun together. My kids, all four of them, are equally talented, albeit in unique ways. I love them each differently. I also love that they are growing into their adult skin and look forward to being more of a guidance counselor than a principal in their future.

Professionally, I want to personally name a few people that have shaped me. I definitely don’t have time or room to call out everything or everyone, but want to highlight three people. First is Barbara Steck – my first manager at my first professional position. As a teenager, she was able to both encourage and challenge me effectively; not just about work, but grades and life as well. She challenged me to be my best and it has stuck with me through my entire professional career. Secondly I would like to thank Don Sloan. I learned to balance my work and personal life through the example Don was to me. He showed me it is OK to be an IT professional, a husband, a father and a Christian. Lastly, I would like to thank Martin Casado. He showed me trust. He was willing to see my potential and put me in positions that were not necessarily comfortable, but always challenged me to be even more than I thought I could be in my own eyes.

Thanks to all my friends – you know who you are – and how you put up with me and my oddities.

Thanks for all of our service personnel – without you much of what I have been thankful for above would have never happened.

I hope you all have a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving holiday with your own family and friends.

Developing an understanding attitude

Another hectic time has interrupted my ability to post an update. Shortly after performance evaluation time came a re-organization at work that found me in a new role to figure out. I haven’t yet figured it all out, but I needed to take a lunch time break today to write and express something that always seems to come up in life – at work and otherwise.

As a “techie”, it’s in my DNA to dig deep and figure things out. As a teacher, it’s in my DNA to help others reach their potential and figure things out. As a leader, it’s in my DNA to evaluate people and put them in a position to be successful. The idea of emotional intelligence intrigues me so deeply that I constantly search for more understanding of myself and others. The next bit of this entry will try to enlighten you to things to consider in developing an understanding attitude in your interactions with others.

Have you ever had a great idea but can't communicate it successfully to someone else? I sure have. Why is that? When you communicate, you put words to whatever you have experienced in life. The expectation is that others will see and hear things similarly and react in the same way. I can assure you, it doesn’t usually work out that way. Your life experience is a lens that forms over time. That lens is made up of your perspective. Your perspective is shaped by your life experience, perception, personality and expectations. Your lens is unique to you. No two people see things, hear things or think about things the same way. This is why an understanding attitude is so critical to develop in order to have healthy and effective communication skills.

The difficult part about your perception is that it really does define reality to you. In fact, it can be really hard to see a different perspective than the one you believe to be right. What you perceive to be real is indeed real for you. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean your perception is entirely accurate or even realistic. In developing an understanding attitude, you must practice humility and have the understanding that "I am not always right". Perception does not necessarily equal reality.

To develop a healthy understanding, follow these simple steps:

1. Study your own personality
• There are many personality tests (Myers-Briggs is a good one)
• Understand your strengths and weaknesses based on your typology
2. Learn to swap seats
• Study the strengths and weaknesses of all typologies
• Learn to observe others and determine their typology
• Learn to approach, communicate and interact with others based on their typology
• Learn to see things from their perspective, not just yours (this is called empathy)
3. Never stop learning
• You never know it all – keep studying and learning

Arrogance is always thinking you are right, even when you may be wrong. That would mean humility is simply the understanding that you may be wrong. You do not know everything, despite what your pride and perception tells you. When you are willing to try and understand others better you will see your influence and leadership increase!

Trust

Feels like forever since my last post, but that is what performance evaluations will do when you have quite a few to deliver. It’s managed to consume every spare moment I have had for the last month or so.

There is one thing that is common to every relationship, in every team, family, organization, nation and civilization throughout the world — one thing that is so critical its removal would destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character or the deepest love. On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, this one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life. The one word is trust.  I take great concern to build relationships with those I serve that are built on trust. It is a slow and methodical process, but in order to gain the trust of those I serve it is worth it. How do you build trust?

Trust is a learnable competency that is comprised of credibility and behavior. In order to build credibility and shape your organization toward trusting behavior, there are 3 things that must happen:

Create Transparency
Leaders must cast vision so crystal clear that everyone gets it. The strategy on how to reach the vision quickly follows and is communicated effectively to every level of the organization. I'll say again, every level of the organization. It lays down the pathway of how to get where we are going. Everyone in the organization, especially those at the lowest levels desperately need insight to the vision and strategy so they have something to believe in and someone to trust.

Clarify expectations

Everyone has a role to play in the organization. In addition to playing their part, they must clearly understand the expectations that come with their role. No one likes surprises. My rule is that any expectations that is either unspoken or unclear is also unrealistic.

Extend trust
To allow someone the opportunity to trust you, you may often have to extend trust not yet earned. Let me clarify. When your child wants to take the car for their first drive alone, there is a level of anxiety that comes over a parent that is truly unnatural. As the parent, you rationalize in your mind they are not ready, you tell yourself they can't do it, you think they may get into an accident and so on. It's a big responsibility to drive a car, but at some point in your life, and in all honesty - likely before you were really ready, someone trusted you with the keys by yourself. You were extended trust you really hadn’t had an opportunity to earn yet. That's what I am taking about.

I mentioned the makeup of trust as being credibility and behavior. How do you establish these?

Credibility is established over time, after consistent results that meet or exceed expectations. The behavior aspect, while a little subtler, is the main building block to solidifying your credibility. Consistency is definitely one of the most important aspects of behavior. There are other words, like; reliability, predictability, dependability, but they are all variations on the theme that has trust as its melody.

It takes time and energy to build trust, but it is always time well spent.

Building a better you

All of us care about our career. In fact, I will go out on a limb and say that most of us put a lot of weight toward our perceived self-worth based on our measured effectiveness and accomplishments at work. 

Because work performance is so critical, I wanted to highlight some things we can do to make a good impression at work. Whether you are looking for a promotion, or just want to do better in your current role, there are some basic things you can do to stand out amongst your peers: 

Know the mission and priorities
Do you know your boss' priorities? If not, you should ask what they are. Once you know what they are, make them your priority also. I make it a habit to consistently ask how I can assist my boss. I also let my boss know that I consider it a part of my job responsibility to make them look good. In addition to your direct line of management, your organization my have core values, a mission statement or other high level objectives at the top level. If so, make sure you prioritize those things also.

Always make your boss look good
See number 1 above. Finish your work in a timely fashion. Make sure your work is of high quality ans that you always give your best. Don't just be an idea machine, but be willing to take charge and implement your ideas under their direction. Resist the temptation to talk negatively about your boss or direction taken by management (see my previous blog entry named "Change"). It is your job to make your boss look good, whether you agree with them or not.

Understand how you'll be evaluated
I give you all a goals checklist at the beginning of the evaluation period with this very point in mind. It's best to know the things that will be evaluated so you can focus on accomplishing those items during your evaluation period. As much as possible, focus on refining the skills and completing the tasks that will be used to measure your effectiveness during the evaluation.

Be dependable
Work hard and show up on time for things. Follow through on what you say you are going to do.

Take ownership
When you make a mistake, take responsibility (see my previous blog entry named "My Bad"). Our most beneficial learning opportunities come from our own mistakes. Any mistake can become a learning opportunity for you and others if you analyze what went wrong and determine what you can do better the next time. Don't be the person that chooses to blame others for mistakes, rather focus on what you can do to make things better.

Get outside your specific area
It makes sense to focus on the parts of your job that dominate your time. To make yourself more valuable, be willing to research other areas related to your industry and company. This can happen by reading, talking with peers in those areas, taking advantage of training opportunities or free webinars and volunteering for projects or tasks that require you to stretch your knowledge base.

Be nice
It sounds simple and intuitive, but normal job related stress can be overwhelming. Always show respect to all people, especially those different than you. Speak well of others, or at least don't bad mouth others to anyone.

Go beyond the job description
Take on extra projects or tasks when you hear about them. Be willing to put in extra hours. Never ever use the phrase, "that's not my job.”

Be a team player
Invest in people. Let them know you have their back. When you hear concerns about others projects or tasks, do something about it. Don’t just be sympathetic; practice empathy by putting yourself in their shoes and understanding things from their perspective. Offer to jump in and help others in whatever way they need.

Avoid burnout
When you have a clear head, you can focus and concentrate better. Use your vacation time. Recharge yourself with things you enjoy doing. You must maintain balance between you work and personal life. That balance will give you energy and a proper perspective, which in turn will make you a better employee.

Change

Change is not a 4 letter word, but most of us treat it like one. There’s a saying about change being an inevitable part of life that we all have to figure out how to deal with, and if you have any doubts, just ask a dinosaur. I don’t remember who to give credit for the quote, but that doesn’t really matter, the fact is it is accurate. No one enjoys change just for the sake of change. We seem to enjoy change even less when it is thrust upon us unexpectedly or when the change is due to forces beyond our control. Since I have been on this earth for over 4 decades, I’ve experienced change that was unexpected as well as change resulting from methodical, planned activities. The truth is, neither is particularly easy to deal with.

The leadership principles I have learned from the changes I have encountered are simple:

Don’t waste time worry about things out of your control
So much of life, both personal and professional, is out of your control. The important part to remember is “out of your control”. A really smart guy (Jesus) once said you can’t add a single hour to your life by worrying about it. Why endure the stress and anxiety that comes with worrying about things that you can do nothing about? A more practical example would be changes at work. Whether the change is procedural or organizational, executives are not likely to come by your desk and get your input or ask your opinion. The change is going to happen and there is really nothing you can do about it. I know that’s really encouraging, right? From my own personal experience, I can verify that worrying has a very negative effect on your health, both physically and mentally. It does you no good and serves no real purpose in your life. So, as the great philosopher Queen Elsa would say, “let it go”!

Maintain your voice, but be a team player
Not worrying about things doesn’t mean you should not speak up about matters or concerns that present themselves in your personal or professional life. When you have an opportunity to share your thoughts, opinion or feelings around something, make sure you take advantage of it and be honest. The problem most people have is they really and truly believe that their thoughts, opinion or feelings around the issue are correct [see my previous post from May about perspective]. That’s funny, because everyone thinks they are right, right? The point here is to be able to understand that while you really believe in your own thoughts, opinion or feelings around whatever the issue is, that doesn’t mean that everyone or anyone has to agree with you! Further, when you provide feedback in any manner, you cannot hold people accountable to feel or think like you, and you certainly cannot expect them to come to the same conclusion as you and make the decision you would make. In short, offer feedback when you can and then refer to the first point above. Once a decision is made, even if you don’t agree with it, get on board with the decision and be a team player.

Adapt and move forward
Whatever change you encounter, do whatever due diligence is necessary to adapt effectively. Be willing to make changes that are in your control in order to be able to move forward with changes that are out of your control. As an example, let’s assume you are given a new manager at work. What practical, proactive and forward thinking things can you do to adapt effectively? Schedule a meeting with them. Get to know them, how they work, what they like. Ask for clarity on expectations and preferences on how they would like things done. It’s not that hard, but you can really set yourself up for success in spite of unexpected change if you just use a little planning and creativity.

For whatever reason, the dinosaurs could not adapt to change that came their way so they are now extinct. Some of the best lessons in life can be learned at the expense of others rather than repeating them ourselves.

Coaching

I’ve been tied up with some vacation and other stuff and have not been able to make an entry recently. That is frustrating to me. This will be a short one, but I wanted to share something that may be of use.

Coaching is an extremely powerful tool to be used as you strive to institute effective leadership with those you influence. Do you know how to apply the coaching approach to your day-to-day life? At its core, coaching is a practice you can institute to assist you in unlocking the capabilities of others. People are usually more capable and adept than they give themselves credit for. My personal mission statement is to “inspire greatness in others” and that is one reason why coaching is so important to me. Many of the same processes used in coaching can be used to foster healthy conversations and improve relationships in your everyday life as well. Effective coaching begins with understanding the values and identity of others. The values people hold in esteem will allow you to understand what is most important to them and how to better motivate and influence them. Achieving this level of relational understanding opens up opportunities for coaching. It allows you to use active listening skills, inquiries and feedback during your conversations. Productive conversations open up opportunities for the best level of thinking and allow us to co-create solutions. Coaching requires both parties to create a vision for what they want to accomplish, set goals for how to get there and then being accountable for the results. These same conversation tools and elements are equally valuable in working with people in family relationships, friendships and business relationships. A few tips for taking the coach approach in your conversations and relationships:

• Pay attention to your language
• What words foster collaboration?
• What words limit co-creative thinking?
• Let go of expertise
• A coach's job is not to be the expert or have all the answers
• Stay curious and withhold judgment
• Have patience
• Listen deeply
• Listening, and the silence that is a byproduct of not taking, can create empowering experiences
• Learn to hear what the other person is saying, listen to your own responses, and process nonverbal cues that include the environment, body language and your intuition
• Ask powerful questions
• Open-ended or evocative questions draw out unspoken wisdom
• We gain deeper understanding, consider different perspectives and explore new possibilities
• Provide both accountability and support
• Set and share goals so that others understand the commitments
• Support them in achieving
• Identify when we are not on target

Perspective

One of the most difficult things to do as a leader is to accept differences in others. The difference can be cultural or it may simply be personality. The point is, no two people are alike. That can be really annoying since we all have a perspective that constantly presents us with awareness as to how things should be done, how we should react to a situation and so on. The problem is, just like not two people are alike, no two perspectives are alike either.

Jim is in management and took a new role in his organization. While it was a lateral move in terms of title, it was with a line of business he was not familiar with. When assuming his new duties, Jim made it a priority to meet consistently with his top level business peers and executives. He wanted to make a good impression and establish good relationships with the difference makers he would be dealing with consistently. This approach kept his calendar packed consistently, but Jim knew he had other leaders in his organizational structure that could handle the departmental work effectively.

Sue has worked in her department for quite some time. She’s very knowledgeable and performs at a high level for the organization. Recently a new department head took over and Susan has not been able to spend much time with him. The new leader is not familiar with the departments processes and functions. He is always in meetings and pulled in a lot of directions by other leaders. Sue feels a distance from leadership that hasn’t existed in the organization to her knowledge.

If you haven’t figured it out, Sue works in Jim’s organization. Jim took an approach that he believes will make the most impact in the long run. Sue believes management needs to be more involved in the day to day operations of the teams. While this is a made up scenario, this type of thing happens all the time. Who do you think is right? Do you think Jim should spend more time with his teams? Do you think Sue has a right to feel frustrated or is she out of line? You can answer the questions any way you want, but your answers will be based on your perspective of the situation. It really isn’t a questions of which perspective is right and which is wrong. Each approach to the situation has merit and each looks right to each party involved. Neither is completely right or wrong, they’re just different.

You will always come into contact with people that are completely different than you. You will constantly be involved, in business or in life, with people that have a different perspective than you on the way to do things. That doesn’t mean their approach to life and problem solving is wrong. It doesn’t mean yours is either – it’s just different. If you want to advance your career and be a good leader, you must learn to be empathetic to the positions and approaches that others take. Learn to be aware of your own position and that other perspectives that are different than yours may actually have merit. Treat people in ways that are meaningful to them not just in ways that you believe to be meaningful. This will go a long way to creating trust in your relationships and enhancing your ability to influence and lead them effectively.

Your greatest competitive edge

I enjoy professional football. It’s a great game, I’m extremely competitive and the season is short enough that every game is meaningful. With the 2016 draft just held this weekend, it occurred to me that teams are preparing for the future by finding young players to replace their current players. There’s nothing like someone hiring your replacement right under your nose to get you thinking. So it got me thinking…

What is our greatest competitive edge? Being teachable in every area of life will allow us to retain our competitive edge. Maintaining a teachable attitude requires many soft-skills that require years of diligence to perfect. Some of those skills include flexibility and adaptability. Being able to adjust to circumstances beyond your control is essential in order to maintain the proper attitude. Whether it’s changing priorities, canceled projects or lack of resources, most of the time decisions are out of your control, so you have to find ways to adjust and do the best with what you have that is in your control. In these types of circumstances, we default to blaming others for the poor decision that created our situation or problems. Taking the teachable way means to look inward to areas, decisions or other parts of the equation that are in your control and where you can actually enact change. You will have more luck implementing change within areas you control than waiting on others to see what you perceive to be the “error of their ways”. After all, you can’t change anyone except yourself.

Being teachable means you are willing to learn from anyone. Find successful people and understand what they are doing that is different from you. Try to enlist a mentor you respect that has more life experience than you and make it a priority to spend time with them. Your mentor can be inside or outside of your organization.

Being teachable means you read a lot. If you think you are reading enough, read some more.

I mentioned humility as a crucial part of the definition of leadership in my last post, but it is also a significant factor to being teachable. If you think you know everything, there’s not much you need to learn. In life, in marriage and in business I have made it a priority to be constantly enrolled in the school of learning. If there is a day I don’t learn anything, I consider it a bad day. Look for opportunities to learn from your own life experience or from observing others. Did you know you can learn as much from failure as you can from success? Did you know that personal skills are not business oriented, so you can learn them from any experience or relationship you have? It’s primarily a function of how much self-awareness you have. How willing are you to look in the mirror and be honest about what needs to change? Instead of deflecting responsibility, taking it head on and doing what you can to make a difference for those that look to you for leadership.

What is leadership?

I’ve served under good leaders and bad leaders. Reflecting on my career thus far, I can say with certainty that I have managed to learn something regardless of the leadership capabilities I served under. My life experiences have helped shape my own definition of leadership. While serving under leadership I perceived as poor, I learned what not to do. Good leadership has taught me positive ways to work, interact and be effective.

You are like me in at least one way…your life experience has influenced how you define good leadership. While defining leadership can be difficult, it’s not difficult to recognize when you see it. Finding a few definitive words that describe everything leadership includes is challenging.

I am not afraid to admit that I have not always given good leadership. I’ve seen my mistakes and would like to think I have learned from them. Seeing and understanding the errors of my way, it has become a passion of mine to learn all I can about becoming a good leader. I have taught on the matter, read exhaustively on the matter and plan to continue to be a student of the matter for the rest of my life. Through all I have read and learned, I have managed to come up with a few single words that seem to do the term leadership justice. Here is my take on a few words I consider critical if you want to be a good leader.

The first is Influence. There’s a saying I like, but I can’t remember who to attribute it to. It says; if you think you are leading but no one is following you, you’re just going for a walk. That says a lot. If you can’t influence those around you, even if you have the positional title of a leader you may lack the moral authority that comes with influence. Moral authority is based more on your character and behavior than an organizational chart. I’ve lead teams, groups and individuals for years without a title. How? In order to earn the right to influence someone start with building trust, investing time and being genuinely concerned about them as a person. Be authentic and as personable as you are comfortable. This takes time and energy, but I can assure you it will be time well spent. Influence is often either out of your reach or control. When you lack opportunity to build relational trust and spend time with those you need to influence, it’s time to look for creative ways to make the most whatever opportunities you do get.

Second is servant hood. Leading may seem polar opposite to serving, but it is not. Sitting in your office, too bothered to be involved in the day to day working or life of those you lead is a sure-fire way to create an atmosphere that lacks cohesiveness, trust and vision. This type of atmosphere is never the intention of a leader. If you find yourself too busy with meetings or other priorities to spend time with your people, it’s only natural for them to feel ignored at best or unappreciated at worst. You cannot be slave to your calendar or even your customers to the extent that they will not allow you time to interact with those you lead. Getting your hands dirty, rolling up your sleeves…these are ways we describe someone that is willing to do what is necessary to help others, regardless of title or position. Do what you can to serve people well and they will serve you well in return.

Last is humility. I have been in many situations where the person with the highest position in the room also feels the need to be the smartest person in the room. It’s almost like no one else can have any good ideas – or at least ideas better than theirs. When you constantly pass down decisions without seeking input from those that are involved or impacted, you let everyone know that you are smarter than they are. While I understand that this may have to be the case at times, when it happens over and over and over again, the pattern speaks on your behalf and likely communicates a message you really don’t intend to convey. I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, but I am rarely the smartest guy in the room and that is OK with me!

Remember that leadership isn’t really about you, it’s always about those you influence and serve. Leadership is a privilege, a responsibility and should be taken seriously. Self-awareness and emotional intelligence play a huge role in your ability to be effective and humble at the same time. I already have plans to write on both topics in the near future.

I’m listening…

Are you really listening? It’s a skill, one that takes discipline, focus and consistency. I can tell you this much – if you consistently avoid listening to your people and do not allow them a voice in matters that affect them, eventually you will be surrounded by people with nothing to say. Good people will leave and you will be surrounded by mediocre talent, wondering what happened. You don’t want to be in a leadership role in that position and you don’t want people under your leadership that feel helpless, unappreciated and voiceless. You have to surround yourself and listen to the right people. You have to build systems and processes to solicit input from people at all levels. Good leaders are attracted to where their voice is heard! If you want good leaders, you have to make that a part of your organization culture.

So how can we listen well? How can we allow those in our sphere of influence to feel they are valued and heard?

Listen for strengths: Everyone has an idea of what they are good at and where they need improvement. It takes a good leader to recognize where they are weak and where they could use help. It takes an even better leader to allow someone to actually help them. Putting people in position to be successful usually means allowing them to pursue areas where they are naturally strong. Check your ego at the door and allow people to operate in their strengths, even if it happens to be a weakness of yours.

Listen for pitfalls: Every organization has systemic issues, to ignore them is woefully ignorant. As a leader, you are often far enough away from the day-to-day activities that you can’t see those issues clearly. Those under your influence likely have a better feel for what is actually happening in the areas that really matter. In addition to listening for pitfalls, you have to be willing to do what you can to help the team avoid them, or make changes that will help those that are suffering from the issues.

Listen for innovation: Not only will those around you likely be closer and more aware of issues, they will likely have some very innovative solutions to resolve them. Nothing speaks arrogance more than a leader who thinks all good ideas have to originate from them. A good leader understand they do not always have to be the smartest person in the room. A good leader is open to not only hearing good ideas from others, but acting on them and ensuring the right people get the credit in the process!

Listening will provide insight and knowledge as to the potential of your people. Once you are aware of the information, it is your job as a leader to use that knowledge wisely. Now that I’ve shared some of the people you need to listen to and why, my next entry will provide some practical ways to enhance your actual listening skills.

My bad…

My bad. In the time frame I grew up, putting those two words together would not have made much sense. Now-a-days, it’s become a modern version of “I’m sorry”. It seems that happens a lot in our culture and with young adult children at home I get to hear most of them as they become popular. The thing I like about this phrase is the personal pronoun actually invokes some level of accountability by the person using it. Accountability is closely related to apologies, but while admitting failure or mistakes has never been popular it seems even more offensive these days.

We have to ask the question why? Why has accountability lost traction? Why do we point fingers of blame at others while somehow justifying our actions and bad attitudes? I believe it is out of fear that the blame game is played. In other words, my place or position with the organization is unstable enough that I fear for my job or career if I make a mistake. No one is perfect, myself included. I’ve done some incredible things professionally in the last two decades, but I have made some horrific mistakes along my career path as well. I am a proponent of a work place culture that is both open to and accepting of mistakes. Failure is the price of progress, without it there is no innovation and creativity. Dodging responsibility, on the other hand, is never acceptable. The impact of a mistake is far more dangerous when someone refuses to own it.

How do we create an environment where it is safe to fail but not ok to be accountable?

Communicate expectations clearly
One of my go to phrases is that all unspoken expectations are unrealistic. Since none of us can read minds, the only way to bring clarity to expectations is to communicate them effectively. In order to have clarity to your job, roles and responsibilities expectations must be clear. Unclear or vague expectations lead to frustration around performance and responsibility. Expectations should include performance-related items (measurable and time-boxed objectives), personal growth items (professional/technical skills), leadership competencies (skills to assist with leading/working more effectively with others) and cultural DNA (your organizations core values).

Open, honest, careful communication
I have learned to take criticism in a constructive manner in spite of the way it’s delivered. That’s not an easy thing to do and it takes time as well as discipline to learn how to do that. This type of communication can become tense when people start taking it personally. Learning to handle constructive criticism is a part of the training and mentoring process that is all too often overlooked. It’s also important to note that participants must also be willing to learn when it comes to these sorts of things as well. If you encounter people that are unwilling to learn, they either need to be moved to an environment that suits them, or be transitioned out of the organization. The last part of the equation involves “careful” communication. It’s another skill that needs diligence and self-awareness to be learned properly. Delivering difficult news is never an easy thing, but it is always necessary to be able to do it effectively. The recipient is likely to be more receptive if there is care given to the words, tone and body language used while communicating.

Establish boundaries and consequences
Consequences have such a negative connotation, but we all deal with them every day. Everyone knows that is you drive 75 mph in a 45 mph zone, eventually you will likely have to face some consequences. The idea of boundaries is paramount in the process of developing healthy relationships and parenting, so they are no less important at work. The consequences do not apply to someone that makes a mistake, but rather to those 
trying to deflect responsibility, cast blame on others or those acting in some other defensive way.

Having an environment that is accepting of failure but requires accountability is crucial to every organization. Educating employees toward the emotional intelligence and self-awareness required to handle criticism effectively is just as crucial. Try to find ways that you can assist your organization with changes in the organizational environment or educational offerings to assist the growth of everyone.

Proirities

It seems the older I get...the busier I get. I thought it was supposed to be opposite of that! I'm a little frustrated sometimes at the lack of time to do everything I want. Maybe if I only slept for 1 hour each night, I could get more done. We all know that if I slept for only 1 hour, whatever work I did accomplish would not be my best.

I guess I have resolved to try and prioritize things. That said, your (and my) family needs to be a priority. You won't always have your kids, so cherish every moment with them now. Make time to spend time with them...make it a priority. I date my daughters - not often enough - but I want them to know what its like to be with a man that loves and respect them...not one that will take advantage or use them. How would they know the difference unless we teach them? I try to do "guy" stuff with my boys - again, not often enough - so they know what a real man is like, how they behave, how they treat women, etc.

Kids always model the behavior they see - good or bad! Your children are one investment you make that can draw eternal dividends.