It's personal

The great philosopher Charlie Brown once said “Humanity I love. It’s the people I can’t stand.” How do you feel about people? When frustrated, I myself have been known to mutter the phrase “work would be awesome if you didn’t have to deal with people.” Of course, that’s neither realistic nor feasible. It comes out when I am frustrated because I know that dealing with people is incredibly difficult, but it is just as incredibly important.

Leadership and relationship often are seen as two things that cannot co-exist. I can see both sides of the argument for and against the concept. I land on the side that believes the two can not only co-exist, but must exist in order to get the most from your team. I’ve written before about trust – something that is only built over time with consistent behavior. I’ve also written about influence – which is a byproduct of trust, but requires a level of personal investment to really be effective. The best leaders understand that a healthy work environment and a productive team are the result of good leaders that have spent time investing in their people. I can personally attest to meeting regularly with each of my employees. I try my best to never cancel that one-on-one time with any of them. There are times I have to reschedule, but I try to never miss one. It is in those meetings that I get to know each and every one of my people and hear about as much of their personal life as they want to disclose as well as hear their desires for involvement in certain systems or to be part of a particular project or where they want to be in their career in the near future. Those are important conversations that let them know that I care about them as people. As a leader you cannot be so task focused that you are only getting in touch with someone when you need something! We should not use our position to build our own career, but rather use our position to build our people. Think about it, would you rather work for someone that only cares about what you do or someone that cares about who you are?

I’m not saying that we sacrifice tasks or productivity so we can just be nice to each other. There are people I have worked with for over a decade that I have had to have difficult work related conversations with. If they know you care, those conversations (although never easy) aren’t so difficult because the other party ultimately knows that it’s not personal, it’s about accountability and responsibility. We all deserve corrective criticism when it is necessary, so we all have to be willing to give it and take it! There is a difference in telling someone they are doing something wrong and inspiring them to do right.

I’ve already told you that everyone is a leader. It may be at work, it may be at home, it may be somewhere else, but everyone has some level of leadership in their life. There is a quote form one of my favorite leadership authors (Andy Stanley) that speaks to the responsibility we have as leaders. It goes like this, “Leadership is a stewardship, it’s temporary and you are accountable.” As a leader, you are entrusted to the responsibility that comes with leading others. You will not always have the same level of leadership or responsibility – it may increase or decrease over time. In terms of accountability, follow through is one of the most important aspects of leadership. If you sit and listen to someone express their desires but do nothing to help them get to where they want to go, you lose credibility as a leader. We have to follow through and see our leadership opportunity for what it is – something we have been temporarily entrusted with and are responsible to ensure we do the right thing. The right thing to do and the hard thing to do are usually the same thing.