I know it’s cliche, but on the day before our thanksgiving holiday, I thought I would reiterate some gratefulness.
I have many things to be grateful and thankful for, the most important one’s being my faith and my family. I have the privilege of living in a country that allows me the freedom to both express and live out my faith in God and my relationship with his Son. That is not something I take for granted, since there are many places in this world where this is not the case. As for my family, they are the reason I get up every morning. My wife is the quintessential partner – my biggest fan as well as my most informed critic. She holds me in high esteem and holds me accountable to be the person she knows I can be. I can’t imagine my life without her and I look forward, with great anticipation, to our future fun together. My kids, all four of them, are equally talented, albeit in unique ways. I love them each differently. I also love that they are growing into their adult skin and look forward to being more of a guidance counselor than a principal in their future.
Professionally, I want to personally name a few people that have shaped me. I definitely don’t have time or room to call out everything or everyone, but want to highlight three people. First is Barbara Steck – my first manager at my first professional position. As a teenager, she was able to both encourage and challenge me effectively; not just about work, but grades and life as well. She challenged me to be my best and it has stuck with me through my entire professional career. Secondly I would like to thank Don Sloan. I learned to balance my work and personal life through the example Don was to me. He showed me it is OK to be an IT professional, a husband, a father and a Christian. Lastly, I would like to thank Martin Casado. He showed me trust. He was willing to see my potential and put me in positions that were not necessarily comfortable, but always challenged me to be even more than I thought I could be in my own eyes.
Thanks to all my friends – you know who you are – and how you put up with me and my oddities.
Thanks for all of our service personnel – without you much of what I have been thankful for above would have never happened.
I hope you all have a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving holiday with your own family and friends.
Another hectic time has interrupted my ability to post an update. Shortly after performance evaluation time came a re-organization at work that found me in a new role to figure out. I haven’t yet figured it all out, but I needed to take a lunch time break today to write and express something that always seems to come up in life – at work and otherwise.
As a “techie”, it’s in my DNA to dig deep and figure things out. As a teacher, it’s in my DNA to help others reach their potential and figure things out. As a leader, it’s in my DNA to evaluate people and put them in a position to be successful. The idea of emotional intelligence intrigues me so deeply that I constantly search for more understanding of myself and others. The next bit of this entry will try to enlighten you to things to consider in developing an understanding attitude in your interactions with others.
Have you ever had a great idea but can't communicate it successfully to someone else? I sure have. Why is that? When you communicate, you put words to whatever you have experienced in life. The expectation is that others will see and hear things similarly and react in the same way. I can assure you, it doesn’t usually work out that way. Your life experience is a lens that forms over time. That lens is made up of your perspective. Your perspective is shaped by your life experience, perception, personality and expectations. Your lens is unique to you. No two people see things, hear things or think about things the same way. This is why an understanding attitude is so critical to develop in order to have healthy and effective communication skills.
The difficult part about your perception is that it really does define reality to you. In fact, it can be really hard to see a different perspective than the one you believe to be right. What you perceive to be real is indeed real for you. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean your perception is entirely accurate or even realistic. In developing an understanding attitude, you must practice humility and have the understanding that "I am not always right". Perception does not necessarily equal reality.
To develop a healthy understanding, follow these simple steps:
- Study your own personality
- There are many personality tests (Myers-Briggs is a good one)
- Understand your strengths and weaknesses based on your typology
- Learn to swap seats
- Study the strengths and weaknesses of all typologies
- Learn to observe others and determine their typology
- Learn to approach, communicate and interact with others based on their typology
- Learn to see things from their perspective, not just yours (this is called empathy)
- Never stop learning
- You never know it all – keep studying and learning
Arrogance is always thinking you are right, even when you may be wrong. That would mean humility is simply the understanding that you may be wrong. You do not know everything, despite what your pride and perception tells you. When you are willing to try and understand others better you will see your influence and leadership increase!
